A pressie from Jasmine

Look at what Jasmine gave me!!!!!! IT IS RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEXIEST GUY EVEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know, it's not clear - my scanner isn't brilliant. BUT MY LOVE! I literally kiss it!!! No, I'm not a Ray fangirl at ALL... 

Thank you Jasmine! Love you! (As a friend). Not like I didn't before, but ESPESCIALLY now. Love the drawing, love you!

Hard rockin' nana!

I have a hard-rocking nana! She is awesome!

...

I am getting ahead of myself. Allow me to explain...

The other morning, as I am informed, she was sat on the edge of her bed. She was singing quietly to herself, not realising that she was singing, or even WHAT she was singing. My uncle came to the doorway and gave her and odd look.

What was she singing?

MCR's TEENAGERS!!!!!!!!! =D

My Friends...

The post that I have been promising for yonks! All about my very special freinds that I know face to face!

AMBER

I had to start with you! The only person that has ever let me talk continuously for three hours about JUST MCR! The only person who has ever dueted 'Mama' in the way that we did! My friend that guards Nightwish with her blood! I am prepared to accept you for who you are and who you love, no matter what the fuck the rest of the world thinks!

KERRI

You are the ONLY person that I have ever known to dance into a TEACHER! The mere thought makes me LOL. The one who really kick-started my MCR addiction (without intending!) and the one I always crack jokes with about how, if they ever meet me, will all simultaneously scream 'RESTRAINING ORDER'! Kez, you're amazing!

MEGAN

Ah, yes, the one who likes requesting hundreds of drawings from me. The one who STILL needs to hand back my copy of Black Veil Brides's Set the World On Fire. The one who tried to get me MCR tickets! I will FOREVER be touched by the fact that you tried to get me tickets, even though you weren't able to!

CLARE

A fairly long-standing freind of mine. A freind that I very literally owe my life to. Had you not pulled me out of the road in time, that time that we were assaulted a couple of years ago, I would not be here typing this. I owe you, Clare, I seriously owe you.

RUTH

Clare's little sister! Slightly eccentric in your ideas, at times, but brilliant none the less!

ALICE

One of the longest standing friends that I have. You were the first person that I entrusted my fear/uncertainty of being bisexual with. I don't care that you owe me money. I've said it before. You are one of the closest friends that I have. Nothing can erase that.

OLI

Yes, trouble #1. Likes pretending to be gay with trouble #2. Has problems with gay men and the idea of gay people adopting children. Doesn't understand the concept of my depression. Thinks it's cool that I might be bisexual. Cannot stand MCR. (WTF!?) But I love you anyway!

RICKY

Trouble #2. Pretends to be gay with trouble #1, and also has problems with the concept of gay people adopting children. Also likes me more for the fact that I might be bisexual. Unlike trouble #1, you DO like a couple of MCR songs! (Na Na Na and Teenagers) I also love you!

JASMINE
Yes, all the Andy Beirsack conversations! I'm certain that one day that you will meet both Oli Sykes and Andy Beirsack. Even if I have to play a hand in the latter... (kidnap!) All the conversations about kidnapping Gerard Way in a suitcase.... Lol. Just remember - any time you need someone to talk to, I'm here.

JOE
The only person who didn't abandon me on the sponsered walk! You stayed with me right until the end. I am very touched by that! You are amazing, no matter what.

Hey!

Just to say I'm alive! (still)

OH MY GOD I AM SO SO SORRY!

OH MY GOD! I HAVEN'T POSTED IN ALMOST A FORTNIGHT! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?

Anyway, just saying that I'm alive and

I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!

Sing me Home

I've been thinking about little Tammy a lot recently, obviously. Lyrics... artwork... but this is one of the first completed things that I've ever done. It's a little poem that I've JUST finished, and I've called it 'Sing me Home'. Tell me what you think!

Sing me Home

Sing me home

Sing me home

Sing me a lullaby to fight away the cold

And all the lonely nights where you are on your own

Sing me a lullaby

And I will sing us home

Sing me home

Sing me home

I know that I forgot my pride

And all the thoughtlessness inside

But if I sang you a lullaby

Would you sing us home?

Sing you home

Sing you home

Our distances are many miles

And time has broken many smiles

But think of me

And I’ll sing you home

I’ll sing you home

I’ll sing you home

"Call her Black Mariah..."

The angels just cut out her tongue,
Call her Black Mariah-
Would I lie to you?
That girl's not right in the brain!

~My Chemical Romance, Hang 'em High

No, I wasn't being lazy and stealing another MCR lyric when I chose to rename my blog, ths lyric means a fucking lot to me.

I am Black Mariah, so to speak.

Okay, I know what you're thinking. What the fuck does she mean...? I'm talking in a slightly odd perspective.

Social fucking services. Angels. Can really solve some people's lives. AND COMPLETELY FUCK UP EVERYONE ELSE'S!!!

In the fight to keep my sister, it came to the point where they wouldn't even face me. They wouldn't talk my points into consideration. I write a 3 side A4 letter, a couple of months before the decision was made, (stating the excruciatingly meagre sides to my sister going), and the better, stronger points against her not going, fairly stating that taking my sister away was a fucking cock-up of an idea and should not, under any circumstances, go ahaed. (I was a lot calmer in the letter, but I am and was FUCKING LIVID!!!!!!!!!) WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DID I GET IN RETURN???!!!????????? A meagre excuse of a letter from Jennie Motherfucking Wauldron, saying sorry about the delay of a few months, and that she was 'deeply touched' about the emotions and care that I put into that letter about my sister. Bitch. If she was soooo 'deeply touched', then she WOULDN'T HAVE FUCKING TAKEN HER AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To put that simply, they cut out my tongue in the matter. I apologise for that minature rant.

As I have said before in a previous post, some people have taken to describing me as 'emo'. I AM NOT A MOTHERFUCKING EMO!!!!!! THEY SLAM THAT NAME ON ME AND STICK ME IN A BOX OF FUCKING SHITTY LAME EVIDENCE!!!!!!!!!

Again, sorry for the rant. In essence, they slam a name on me. Call her Black Mariah...

Would I lie to you? Yes. I do all the time, to everyone. JUST SO THAT YOU DON'T GET HURT BY MY WORDS AND FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LIE AND MAKE MYSELF WORSE BECAUSE I CAN'T FACE THE IDEA OF HURTING ANYBODY ELSE! FUCK ME! LIKE I CARE!!!!!

I've genuinely been worried about my mental health, recently. Everything happening at once... I just can't let things go, I just can't... I can't cope... That girl's not right in the brain!